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10,000 BC
Directed by: Roland Emmerich Starring: Steven Strait Genre: Action-Adventure/ Fantasy Run Time: 109 min. Release Date: March 2008 On The Web: Official Site Teaser: Movie Trailer Reviewed by Byron Merritt |
Okay, I think it’s official: director Roland Emmerich has finally hit rock-bottom. After the highly successful STARGATE, it seemed Emmerich could do no wrong. But then came INDEPENDENCE DAY. Not horrible but certainly not up to anything approaching Stargate quality. Then the remake, GODZILLA. Okay. We could live with it. Perhaps a notch below Independence Day. Then came THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. Oh boy. We’d slipped into some ruinous territory. Bad acting. Bad story. Laughable CGI wolves. And an ending that was putrid in both the film sense and science. But I sucked it up and decided to give Roland another shot. I’d seen some extremely cool reviews of 10,000 BC prior to deciding on this course. But I’d seen bad reviews of movies I’d turned out to love, too. Alright, Roland, this was it. I slipped the Blu-Ray disc in and braced myself... Yikes! What the...! Was this supposed to be some sort of joke? I mean, I don’t mind suspending disbelief when I watch a piece of fiction, but let’s try and make it at least watchable! What was so bad, you might ask? First is you’d have to believe that prehistoric man could build temples, navigate rivers and maybe even oceans, smelt metals (come on!), and then come home and talk romantically to the love of his life. Gimme a break! Steven Strait (SKY HIGH) was given the unfortunate lead role as D’Leh, a hunter-gatherer turned warrior after the woman he loves (and will marry?) is kidnapped from his village by slave traders. D’Leh sets out to get his blue-eyed Evolet (Camilla Belle) back. He and a smattering of soon-to-be-warriors strike out across unknown territory, battling sabertooth Tigers, deadly horseback riders (???), dinosaurs (????) and D’Leh’s feelings of inadequacy because of his father’s abandonment of him years before (Oh yes, it’s that bad). Okay, I do have to admit that the CGI/Blu-Ray transfer was nice. Particularly the representation of the Wooly Mammoths and the Sabertooth Tiger came across decent if over-the-top (the Sabertooth looked a tad bigger than I imagine they were). But this movie stunk; it was lust-in-the-prehistoric-dust meets cro-Magnon-with-a-conscience. Completely ridiculous and unreal. Mr. Emmerich, you’ve lost me.
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Image from 10,000 BC
DVD cost: $31.98 Purchase: Tower.com Film Review Stew Favorite? No. Stew Poo-Poo? Yes. Newsworthy: Not screened for critics -- only a 20 min excerpt was shown to journalists. Movie Quote: "A good man draws a circle around himself and cares for those within. His woman, his children. Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters. But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more. Your father was one of those men. You must decide for yourself whether you are, as well."
Other Actors/Actresses from 10,000 BC
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Images from 10,000 BC
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