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The Onion Movie
Directed by: Tom Kuntz & Mike Maguire
Starring: Len Cariou
Genre:
Comedy
Run Time: 80
min.
Release Date: June 2008
On The Web:
UnOfficial
Site
Teaser:
Movie Trailer
Reviewed by
Byron Merritt |
Calling THE ONION MOVIE a “movie”
would be like calling JACKASS THE MOVIE a “movie”. They are skits
that should be seen on television programs, not relegated to such terms
as sustainable films or “movies”.
The only upside The Onion Movie can claim is that it does come
closer to having one storyline that is movie-ish. That storyline is
played by Len Cariou (FLAGS
OF OUR FATHERS) who portrays a fictional newscaster named
Norm Archer. He doles out the fake news with deadpan expression while
battling his networks overzealous campaign at advertising for one of its
heavy hitter investors.
The skit jokes take up most of this “movie’s” thankfully short 80 minute
run time. Cock Puncher Steven Seagal lends his Kung Fu talents to show
off his latest upcoming, over-the-top, action flick, a film with
broad-based appeal if you’re in to crushing low-blows. Other
not-so-funny moments are given over to a group of neighbors who invite a
young woman over to play a game called Murder but change it up to a game
called Rape (not funny at all). The shorter skits get the funnier
laughs, though. The infamous “neck belts” put out by car manufacturers
that cause explosive decapitation is pretty darned hilarious, as is the
overtly sexy songs of a Brittany Spears-like singer who claims complete
innocence regarding her rump pumping actions.
Finally, the film ends on a pretty funny high-note for me. I’m not a cat
person but I know people who are, so when I saw the final skit that
“didn’t make the cut for the movie”, I nearly laughed myself silly.
Rolling the cats in bread crumbs then plopping them in a pot of boiling
oil was simply awesome.
But the film, as a whole, has a lot of problems. Trying to interweave
Norm Archer’s newscasts with that of the skits really made the entire
production feel off-balance. Which could be why this “movie” never made
it to the silver screen and sat on a shelf for nearly 4 years before
being released straight to DVD.
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Image from The Onion Movie
DVD cost: $8.99
Purchase:
Tower.com
Film Review Stew
Favorite? No.
Stew Poo-Poo? No.
Newsworthy:
Originally filmed in late 2003, this was subsequently shelved for many
years and never released theatrically (allegedly after poor test
screening). Finally released directly to DVD in June 2008.
Movie Quote: "The
internet went down for three hours this morning, plunging the nation
into productivity. The outage, which caused major work startages from
New York to California, prevented an estimated 120 million American
employees from messing around on the web at work."
Other Actors/Actresses
from The Onion Movie
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