Legion

2 out of 5 stars

Legion

 

Directed by: Paul Bettany

Starring: Scott Charles Stewart

Genre: Thriller/ Sci-Fi Fantasy

Run Time: 100 min.

Release Date: January 2010

On The Web: Official Site

Teaser: Movie Trailer

Reviewed by Byron Merritt

I like freakish films just as much as the next person, but they really need to make some sort of sense. Especially if you’re going to be taking things straight from the Bible and trying to manipulate it to fit ...whatever you want to call LEGION.

Fairly new director Scott Charles Stewart goes beyond the grave and into Angel-Land in an attempt to draw Sci-Fi types and Bible-thumpers into what turns out to be a horrible mess in terms of script.

Paul Bettany (not known so much for his lead character slots as his supporting roles ...think MASTER AND COMMANDER), does okay with what’s given him, but unfortunately doesn’t really shine as Michael, the angel who wants to "give God what he needs, not what he wants."

Michael (Bettany) comes down from the heavens in true Terminator-style, quickly ripping off his wings so that he can fit in with humanity. From here, he heads out into the desert to search for a pregnant woman named Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) who carries "the last hope for humanity." Why that is is never really explained. Guess it was just a roll of the dice for poor Charlie. Bummer girl!

There are so many throwaway characters that we never really give a rats-rump about any of them, including Dennis Quaid (PANDORUM), Tyrese Gibson (TRANSFORMERS), Kate Walsh (GREY’S ANATOMY) and Charles S. Dutton (FAME). They all die in rapid succession and I just said, "Meh. So what."

The only actor who actually did something decent (acting-wise) was Kevin Durand (3:10 TO YUMA) as archangel Gabriel who planned to follow Gods word to the letter and wipe-out humanity. But first he has to get by Michael with all of his bad-ass guns....

Wait...

You mean guns can kill angels? How is that possible? Never mind. Just let it go. Like everything else. Including anything approaching believability.

So with all that said, you might think I absolutely hated Legion. And that’s probably partially true. The only exception to this would be the special effects which were nicely done, especially the creepy ice cream man who sprouts lengthy arms and legs and crab-walks into a hailstorm of bullets. Oh yes. He dies easily, too.

And there you have it. A movie that suffers because of a horrendously bad script, but has a bit of eye-candy in terms of CGI. If that’s all you’re looking for, have at it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

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Image from Legion

Diner owner Bob Hanson (Dennis Quaid) is irritated that his TV has stopped working

 

 

 

 

DVD cost: $19.96

Purchase: Tower.com (Blu-Ray)

Film Review Stew Favorite? No.

Stew Poo-Poo? No.

Newsworthy: The tattoos on Micheal (and later Jeep) are Enochian, a language supposedly of the angels as recorded by John Dee and his seer Edward Kelley in the late 16th century, which they claimed was revealed to them by angels.

Movie Quote: "All the li'l babies are gonna burn!"

 

Other Actors/Actresses from Legion

Yancey AriasDanielle LozeauLuce Rains

 

 

Images from Legion

Michael (Paul Bettany) tries to help humanity survive

Why grandma. What big teeth you have!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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